So… I’m Back!

So it’s been a while… maybe 2 years actually since I’ve blogged. Bad writing I know! In all honest truth I just didn’t know what to write for you all. I didn’t want to ramble on moaning on and on so now I’ve decided to change things up a bit. {Insert cheesy smiley face here} I’m not going to moan on and on about Fibromyalgia and my struggle, although I will be mentioning it from time to time. This time round I am gonna let you all get to know me… What I like, what I don’t like, what I get up to. Just my general life. 

So since I last posted I’ve passed my driving test. {Woo!} It’s given me so much more independence to my life and has actually made me so happy and given me such a confidence boost. I tried and worked so hard to learn and get through my theory test as fast as I could so I could do my practical test and i sailed through it with flying colours.

I’ve been working to do some self study courses but that is all in the pipeline at the moment, as I can’t quite decide what course to do. So if any of you out there have done self study at home and have any tips for me don’t hesitate to comment. 

I’ve also been feeling alot better with myself, I’ve been eating alot better. My diet overall could be changed entirely and I plan to. I’ve been looking in to a non-carb diet, so I’ve been building up lots of recipes. My only problem is on the go snacks…I love things like Alpen bars and yoghurt flakes. But we all know they are packed with carbs. So I’m looking for alternatives, or if you guys know any alternatives yourselves, drop a little comment below because I would really appreciate it. Really, you have no idea, haha! 

So that’s just a small {very small} catch up on what I’ve been up to and how I’ve been doing. And if you’d like me to write about any topics, just let me know below. 

Thank you for reading, stay strong and remember take one step at a time. 

 

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Long Time No See!

Well it’s been a while since I’ve blogged, I’ve had good reason trust me! A lot of things have happened, some for the good and some for the bad…well not for the bad but not so good things have been happening. I’ve had the blogging world on my mind constantly and wanting to write but with one thing or another I’ve not had the chance to. I may still be a newbie to blogging but I’ve already got to know some wonderful and interesting people and I look forward to getting to know more of you.

So I guess you’re wondering what’s been going on these past few months. Well…of course I’ve been backwards and forwards to the doctors (general follow ups etc), I’ve seen a couple of specialists too. I’ve seen a Neurologist about my severe migraines and I’ve seen a Rheumatologist about my suspected arthritis. I’m still undergoing tests in regards to the arthritis subject as results so far have come back clear, I don’t have arthritis but my hands, knees and feet are still swelling and I’m in a lot of pain with it, so that’s still under investigation.

Christmas was quiet and lovely, I was so spoilt by family and friends and my boyfriend, I really didn’t expect even half of the things I got for Christmas, so I was a very lucky girl Christmas 2013!! New Year went out with a bang (so to speak), I brought in the New Year with my boyfriend and a few friends at the local pub, it was packed as always, it’s great little pub attracts the young and the old and we all had a great time, although I was pretty gutted I was stuck sat in the corner all night and not being able to have a dance and dance the New Year in but it was still an enjoyable night all the same and it’s gave me more memories to look back on.

One mission between my mum and myself was for us to move house in 2014 especially to get a house more suitable for my needs. We’ve been on waiting lists with various housing associations for some time now. Mid February 2014 we got told there was a bungalow (GREAT!! All on one level, great for my needs!!) ready for us to move in to, it is situated not too far from where we lived but in a quiet little village. Fantastic! “When can we get the keys?!” asked my mum so impatiently! haha But soon enough we got the keys and we moved in on the 15th February 2014 and it was great! I had my own space, in fact my bedroom must be three times the size of my old bedroom! Put it this way in my old house it felt like my bedroom was like Harry Potter’s “bedroom under the stairs”! So its great to have my own space now and each room is bigger compared to the ones in our previous house, its great! I do know the area as I used to live at the nearby village a few years back also so its not like I’ve got to a totally strange place. My new doctor seems nice enough too although I was really gutted to say bye to my last doctor because she did so much for me as she was the one who finally managed to get me a diagnosis etc. and she was so understanding and really helped me but hopefully this new doctor will be just as nice and just as helpful and I look forward to seeing what she was to say about my condition. (Y’know like a second opinion)

Since I didn’t blog at the New Year, I’m gonna take this chance to list a couple or maybe a few things I’d like from 2014,

– I’d like abit more independence because at the moment I have to rely on someone to be with me all the time because of me falling or feeling faint randomly etc.

– When I get my chance to go to the pain clinic I’d like for something to actually work and be able to have a break from all the pain and then I might not be so tired so often then.

– I’d like Fibromyalgia to be known more, I’d like it to get more recognition. Especially doctors, it’s surprising how many doctors are unaware and uneducated about these types of illnesses. Fibromyalgia needs awareness.

– I’d like to take up a hobby, I’ve been trying to think for months now what I could do and what would keep me interested and something that wouldn’t make my fibro worse, so far blogging is the only thing that’s stuck but I’m still finding my feet, y’know finding things to write about.

I’d say those are acceptable and achievable things to get from 2014, don’t you think? Not too much and not too little. 2014 I will be concentrating even harder on my health, trying to find ways and treatments to help reduce pain and fatigue and then maybe I can start to get my old life back. I do realise that I’ve got this thing for life but I’m not gonna sit back and veg about I’m gonna fight it one step at a time.

Thank you for reading, stay strong and remember take one step at a time 🙂

Out In Public….

I’m finding it hard being out in public alot these days (when I do manage to get out that is), if its not the pain it’s the thought of people staring at me because I’m using a walking stick or because I look so “miserable” due to all the pain I’m in. These days I feel like I just wanna hide at home because of this illness. Yet I get so frustrated because I’m forever stuck in the house because I can’t walk far because I’m in that much pain or I’m too stiff. Alot of the time I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle and I’m sure alot of you fibro warriors out there feel like that at some time or another. 

One thing I hate when I’m out is when people see me and then they see the walking stick and then they look back at me and they give me such a pity look as if to say they feel sorry for me. They don’t know me, they don’t know my story so why do they feel sorry for me? I don’t need pity, I don’t need sympathy from strangers…..I just want people to understand. Instead of staring at me and the walking stick, come over and ask politely either what happened or why do I need my walking stick, rather than stare.

 I was recently in a restaurant with my boyfriend and we were just leaving when a group of women (I’d say there were around seven of them maybe in their late 20s, early 30s), when I politely let them get seated before I went past them as there wouldn’t be enough room for us all to get past when one woman seen me standing there waiting and then she immediately seen my stick and then looked at me with a look between shock and horror and she then immediately said, “Sorry” in her North-East Scottish accent, I said, “It’s fine get seated”. I may be exaggerating but it kinda felt like I’d been punched in the stomach to be looked at like that and for her to say sorry. Yes it was polite of her to say sorry for holding me up but I did politely let them past to get seated before I went past. I just can’t get used to being treated differently for the wrong reasons for my appearance of having a walking stick.

I’ve been struggling for months now that many people are treating me differently and not in the best beneficial way. I mean I’m starting to get over the fact I’ve lost alot of friends through this illness because they don’t understand that fact I can’t always be going out or I’m always in alot of pain and for the pure fact they are ignorant to the whole thing and they are just damn lazy to be a true friend. I just want to be in good enough health to get back in to either education so I can get a great paid job or go straight in to work. I know it’s gonna take a long time to get back to that and I know for a fact it’s gonna be tough because it has and it is tough to get where I am to this day. There’ll be times where I just wanna give up (not where I wanna die-god no!) But because I’m fed up and tired of fighting the pain but then I’ve got to remember at the end of the day I’m 19 years old, I’ve got a good 50-70 years ahead of me. So I’m gonna try my best to make the most of today, tomorrow and the future.

Thank You for reading, stay strong and remember to take one step at a time 🙂

Kind Regards

This will be a short blog post to thank all those who have been reading my blog.

Yes, I know I haven’t been blogging very long and haven’t written very many but it means alot to see that people are actually reading what I write. I appreciate each and every one of you who read, like and comment. It makes it worth while.

I would love it if you could leave a little feedback for each blog you read as I love to take everything ìn and work on my writing. For example, if you were to say, ” Ohh you could work on making your blog posts longer/shorter or more interesting. Or even want to know more about me and my personality other than having Fibromyalgia.”  Your feedback will be read and I will take it on board and do my best to do what I can with it.

So again I would like to give a huge thanks to each and everyone of you, wherever you are in the world for taking the time to read/like/comment my blog.

Thank you for reading, stay strong and take one step at a time 🙂

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again……

Well, well…… It’s been a little while since I last blogged. I’m still abit of a newbie though. Still trying to get the hang of things, still trying to find my feet. This may be abit of a short blog. Might I remind you, all hints and tips are welcome!

Well the past couple of months hasn’t been too great if I’m honest. Its basically been one thing or another. I’ve recently been a victim of cyber bullying because of my health condition, which caused alot of stress for me and it then sparked up a bad flare up of pain and I’ve backwards and forwards to the hospital. I’ve recently been to hospital for severe back pain and was given medication to relax my muscles and they’ve basically just made me sleep alot and I must admit I feel alot better for it but I still am in quite a bit of pain. I have a follow up appointment with my GP to see what the next plan of action is.
On a side note I’ve been looking for a new hobby, I’m trying to get in to blogging but at the moment I’m lacking inspiration. I’m not much of a arts & crafts person these days, I lost my inspiration for that when I was around 15/16,  my art teacher was horrendous! Nobody in the class liked him. He was always trying to control what we did. I always thought art was the meaning tofree expression, I totally understand that we had to our art folios on certain topics but he would literally come round us all individually and end up scribbling all over our work and it just looked a mess. Three quarters in to the year we all ended up rebelling against him we all did our own thing in the end and some of us benefitted from it and got good marks, I on the other hand got a decent mark and was happy enough with it. But I still lost all inspiration for anything arty and creative, even my acting in drama took a downfall. The closest thing to creativity since is this blog. Since my health took a turn for the worst I’ve never really had a hobby to keep up with and not had agreat deal of inspiration. I know I can’t keep dwelling on the past because tomorrow is a new day but I can’t help but miss the person I used to be. So full of imagination and inspiration, I just wish I could find a way to find that again. But until then I’ll keep searching.

I’m hoping 2014 is gonna be a better year as 2012 & 2013 hasn’t been too great in regards to my health.

Thank you for reading, stay strong and take one step at a time 🙂

A New Year

I bet your’re sat there thinking what is this girl on about?! “A New Year? Its August!” Well this time last year I had enrolled at my first year at college, I was training to become a Support Worker to help those who are either mentally and/or physically disabled but unfortunately I took ill just months before I could finish my first year at college and I ended up having around 2-3 weeks off college. Now when I first initially fell ill, my mother contacted my college and my tutors and they we’re very understanding and said not to worry about college and just concentrate on getting better, so after them saying that I did what they said I concentrated on getting better as fast as I could.

Once I returned back to college they weren’t exactly happy about my time off and they stopped my funding. Now by stopping my funding I wasn’t able to get to college or my work placement as I lived over 20 miles away from college and over 10 miles away from my work placement, I wasn’t in any form of paid work as I was a full-time student and weekends we’re taken up by writing reports by the bucket load. My mother and myself argued and fought with the college for my funding back as I am a hard worker and passionate about what I want to do and it was just an unfortunate and uncontrollable event in which occurred. I was heartbroken at the fact I would now have to leave college and take a step back to try and focus on getting my health back up to scratch. And now a year on from my enrollment date I sit at my computer writing to you and telling you my story, still ill and worse than I was. I’m definitely NOT looking for sympathy and I know for a FACT there are people out there in the world who are far worse off than me and I accept that. The thing what annoys me most is that I can’t do the things I love anymore which is working! 

Working in care has been a dream of mine for so long, I wanted to become a Vet to care after animals, then I realized that I could never get the grades to go to university so then I wanted to care for animals in a zoo or something along those lines anyway. But then one day when I was a child my mother’s friends had come round to the house for a general catch up y’know as most mothers do. Her friends brought a young man with them and his name was Callum, I remember he was a little shy to begin with but then he was so lively and had such an infectious smile. I just treated him like any other visitor that walked through the door, which was to be polite and to be kind. I was around nine or ten when I first met Callum and it wasn’t until a couple of years later that I found out that he had learning difficulties and that my mother’s friends we’re his carers and took him out for the day and helped him cook meals etc. I was amazed by this because I seen him just as your regular Joe Bloggs and I thought that’s what Callum and others like him need is to be treated the same and to be apart of the community and not to be discriminated. So ever since then I wanted to become a Support Worker but now I’m the one who needs help on a day to day basis and I find it so hard to get my head round that concept as many others who suffer with fibromyalgia do also. In my head I could run a marathon fine like any other person but just walking to the shop which is less than two minutes away feels like a marathon to me physically and like I’ve said before it just frustrates me so much. So now I just take everyday one step at a time and take things at my own pace and try not to let people tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. A lot of people don’t understand what fibromyalgia is like and they think they have the right to judge you and tell you what to do. I know my limits and I’m the one whose got to live with this for the rest of my life, not them, I’m the one whose got to live with the fact that this will effect my children when that time comes for me to have children and It’ll hurt me so much more emotionally not always being able to do certain things with them and possibly have other children bullying them because their mummy is ‘different’ and that’s exactly it! WE ARE ALL DIFFERENT AND WE SHOULD LOVE AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER FOR THE WAY WE ARE.  

Thank you for reading, stay strong and take one step at a time. 🙂

Blogging, Blogging, Blogging!

Well since you’re reading this you’ve clearly stumbled upon my blog page. If you’re an experienced blogger any hints and tips will be welcomed with open arms. I am such a newbie to this even though this kind of thing became popular back in the nineties ha! Well at least I have some sort of excuse for my ignorance to blogging since I was crawling around in nappies in the nineties so its all good haha. So yeah any hints, tips or even general knowledge on blogging please let me know because I can’t stress enough how much of a newbie I am haha! 

Any-who thanks for reading and stay strong and take one step at a time. 🙂

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